Remember way back when we used to compare our parents while we played on the playground? My dad makes more money than your dad. My mom has a nicer car. Yeah, well, my mom is older than your mom (somehow in playground parlance this is valued). Oh, yeah, well none of it matters, because my dad can beat up your dad.
Somehow, we had almost a compulsive need to compare ourselves to each other based on money, cars, and being more powerful. Sadly, it didn’t end way back then. We still sit on the Arlington, VA, playground playing silly comparison games with our friends. Only this time, it is not our parents that are being compared, it is our preschool age children. Oh my gosh, I just have to tell you the other night at dinner little Johnny sang his ABCs without missing a letter. I mean, he’s known them since he was basically nine months old, but he’s always missed one or two before. Now he knows them all. Oh, really, well my little Susie can factor polynomial equations in her head while she bakes a cake and scores a winning soccer goal. Yeah, well my Bruno could beat both of your little wimps up.
An exaggeration? Yes, but not by much. We’ve swapped out the players, but our need to compare ourselves with others lingers. Unfortunately, our preschool children end up being the unwitting pawns in this little game. Deborah McNelis, an early brain development specialist and author of The Brain Development Series, confesses that even with all of her years of training and a sure and certain knowledge that toddler’s brains develop at different rates, she too falls into that trap of sometimes comparing her preschool age daughter to other children and worrying that her daughter is not smart enough, not coordinated enough, or not talented enough.
McNelis acknowledges that all of us want our children to be smart and we want them to do well. However, when we begin even at the preschool age to compare them to other children, we miss seeing them for who and what they are in the present moment. Instead of wanting my child to be like that other kid, I can find things that my child is really good at, not so that I can brag to the other parents, but so that I can praise my own child and nurture those strengths.
Sometimes parents can turn the search for a preschool here in Arlington, VA into the same kind of a competition. It is as though the child’s ability to graduate from high school, enter Princeton, get a job, and contribute to an IRA account are dependent upon getting in to the best academic preschool in the area. Instead of putting that kind of pressure on your child (and yourself), however, consider looking for a preschool where each individual child is loved and respected, and where each child is taught to love and respect others. Consider whether the children in the preschool program appear to be happy and engaged in developmentally appropriate activities. There may be time for Princeton later; for now, letting your child be a child may be the very best schooling of all.
Preschool Arlington VA – Glowing and growing since 1991, Sparkles! is an outstanding preschool in Arlington, VA. Providing care for infants to twelve-year-olds, Sparkles! promotes a safe, loving environment in which children may flourish. Contact Sparkles! at 571.312.1052 to find out about locations, hours, and prices. Or visit Sparkles!
